It was an eventful evening… We huddled into the dilapidated Herbie ( read A/C Volvo) which had seen more bumpy rides than several human lifetimes. Inspite of the driver informing us that the vehicle is younger than my daughter – three years, I could not help gaping at it observing a silent homage to the battered warrior. I humbly offered a few excuses about nausea and vomiting and sat in the front throne just behind the pilot. The conductor still tried hard to convince me to take a seat at the back – “ We have plastic bags on every seat ; You can comfortably vomit ! “ A thousand expletives found its way to my tongue but I restrained myself. A damp stench filled the vehicle as if it were perspiring, thinking of another twelve hour journey to our destination.
The initial portion of the journey was fairly uneventful besides my admiration towards of hoard of mosquitoes which repeatedly attacked me with the zest of a samurai and vengefulness of a Ronin, trying to reclaim the faith of the emperor. My much cultivated habit of sleeping in a jiffy deserted me and I kept blinking at the lights and most the darkness ahead.
When my eyelids finally gave in, a sound of a revving engine came from the back seat . There was a rookie Lewis Hamilton – a fellow traveler, revving up, bludgeoning his nostrils and letting out snorts through his nasal exhaust. So much for sound sleep, I lamented.
The terrain had the inconsistency which made the Indian Cricket team look like gods. During the dips and the leaps, I remembered a person from my wanton school days. Sister Agnes !! She was like an Amazon inside the garb of a nun, always looking busy teaching us Biology. Her fury and deep baritone voice made her seem more like a drill sergeant taking ‘extreme’ PT lessons !But I digress …
But what I remembered was, she teaching us that there are ‘XXX’ no. of bones in the human body. Man, she was wrong! I just counted a wee bit on that evening. Every joint groaned like a mangled dog and I was just beginning to feel like a bundle of bones loosely attached with some adipose tissues.
The Oasis came after our camel had trudged a good three and half hours over sublimely rural India and we reached the land of the 'bald surd'. The welcome break had me rejoicing like a traveler in a Thai Massage joint. Suddenly I saw a surd with flowing sweat licked hair sitting at the counter. Was this a mirage or what is just fatigue? A sardarjee in an obscure part of South India – Man, that is enterprising! Luckily before I lost my marbles and perspective on reality, I saw the good old bald surd squatting on a coir bed and busy counting the hair around his navel under the rolled up vest with his right hand, and casually scratching his family jewels with his left hand… Needless to say I lost my appetite!
I looked around to relieve myself and had company in a cow letting out pee by the buckets with a purposeful look in its eyes. The seriousness made me begin to look for my business card and introducing my consulting company to the creature who seemed to be only sane animal ( read potential customer) in that dhaba ( colloquial for road side inn) of inebriation. I was just into the first introduction when I heard a muted thump!! Two dollops of a green substance dropped in retaliation from behind my new-found bovine friend … Message was clear “Dude, I dole out shit when I need to; But you do it for a living”. With these wise words of deep understanding, I lazily trudged on, for another leg of dips and leaps !
The initial portion of the journey was fairly uneventful besides my admiration towards of hoard of mosquitoes which repeatedly attacked me with the zest of a samurai and vengefulness of a Ronin, trying to reclaim the faith of the emperor. My much cultivated habit of sleeping in a jiffy deserted me and I kept blinking at the lights and most the darkness ahead.
When my eyelids finally gave in, a sound of a revving engine came from the back seat . There was a rookie Lewis Hamilton – a fellow traveler, revving up, bludgeoning his nostrils and letting out snorts through his nasal exhaust. So much for sound sleep, I lamented.
The terrain had the inconsistency which made the Indian Cricket team look like gods. During the dips and the leaps, I remembered a person from my wanton school days. Sister Agnes !! She was like an Amazon inside the garb of a nun, always looking busy teaching us Biology. Her fury and deep baritone voice made her seem more like a drill sergeant taking ‘extreme’ PT lessons !But I digress …
But what I remembered was, she teaching us that there are ‘XXX’ no. of bones in the human body. Man, she was wrong! I just counted a wee bit on that evening. Every joint groaned like a mangled dog and I was just beginning to feel like a bundle of bones loosely attached with some adipose tissues.
The Oasis came after our camel had trudged a good three and half hours over sublimely rural India and we reached the land of the 'bald surd'. The welcome break had me rejoicing like a traveler in a Thai Massage joint. Suddenly I saw a surd with flowing sweat licked hair sitting at the counter. Was this a mirage or what is just fatigue? A sardarjee in an obscure part of South India – Man, that is enterprising! Luckily before I lost my marbles and perspective on reality, I saw the good old bald surd squatting on a coir bed and busy counting the hair around his navel under the rolled up vest with his right hand, and casually scratching his family jewels with his left hand… Needless to say I lost my appetite!
I looked around to relieve myself and had company in a cow letting out pee by the buckets with a purposeful look in its eyes. The seriousness made me begin to look for my business card and introducing my consulting company to the creature who seemed to be only sane animal ( read potential customer) in that dhaba ( colloquial for road side inn) of inebriation. I was just into the first introduction when I heard a muted thump!! Two dollops of a green substance dropped in retaliation from behind my new-found bovine friend … Message was clear “Dude, I dole out shit when I need to; But you do it for a living”. With these wise words of deep understanding, I lazily trudged on, for another leg of dips and leaps !
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1 comment:
Very entertaining! I really like your sarcasm and humor.
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