Have we lost of onions ?

The economy is in a turmoil, bank performances hardly ‘creditable’, stock markets singing elegies which often sound like requiems, the political scenario more horrifying than the best horror shows and the common man is worried about his onions…. With the other topics left in the able hands and laps of our intelligentsia, we move on to the more ‘earthy’ topics like onions.
The problem is nothing short of a catastrophe. The stakeholders in this situation are more than what meets the common eye. One of the important ingredients of most menu, eating will have a subtle void without the inclusions of ample quantities. Besides the vitamins and the proteins it contains , there are some more medical benefits through its use. It provides the much-needed cleanser for the eyes of housewives. In today’s polluted environment the benefit of such a cleanser cannot be trivialized. Of course the tears that it produces finds invaluable niche in securing sentimental apathy from near and dear ones.
Coming out of the cocoon of the household , the corporate too have a thing or two to worry. What will happen to the mouth freshener and the mouth perfume industry ? with the most vital inducer of halitosis ( bad breath for us ) out of the way ,there will definitely be red days ahead for the industry.
If that was not enough , this would lead to unemployment, chaos in that section of the economy.
What will happen to the quintessential ‘Sardarji from Patiala’? What will he crush with his fist to eat with the rotis? The impoverishment of the onions will require him to change his hereditary food habits and of course change is no their favorite topic.
And just when we thought that drug cartels were coming under control, we are faced with a new threat – ‘onion cartels’. This time the perpetrators of the crime may themselves be deified by the hoi polloi for providing their taste buds those nostalgic and wistful memories of a distant past. Law and order will pose new challenges and the social fabric may itself get a riffraff.
But ain’t we going too far. Our leaders I’m sure have worked out agendas to use this as the new missile in their election manifestos. Governments will fall and parties will disappear if this topic is not dealt with . Afterall the politicians themselves have to hear the crib of their house wives.
What the industry is focussing on is the way to leverage this calamity into an investment opportunity. We are talking of a blue chip option and a sunrise industry. Onion plantations will take the stock markets by storm and investors will crowd in money.
But these are all visionary predicts. For the time being the will be ‘ videshi’ onions available in the swadeshi markets. At least now the common man can savor a ‘continental’ delight with every meal !